We have to keep going

February 24, 2017

Yesterday, we had an eval for our daughter to start equine therapy. As excited as I am for her start I remain a little guarded. There is no guarantee that she will like it or that she will be able to continue. It went about like what I expected. We are both battling head colds and I questioned whether we should just reschedule. I wanted her to feel good and be in a good mood. But there are no guarantees on moods so I decided to go anyway. The first part of the eval was hairy. It was mostly me asking questions and Avery not understanding why she had to stay seated. The second part went better and we were able to meet some of the horses and ponies. Even though I am guarded the excitement is definitely bubbling up!

On the way to our eval I began to get frustrated. I had a horrible headache and really haven’t slept in about three weeks. Before Avery got sick she had one of those weeks where she didn’t sleep very well. She averaged about six hours a night so that means I averaged about five. Then we both got sick. Listening to her cough and sniffle in the backseat I really thought that I was doing the wrong thing. (She doesn’t have a fever or anything just a lot of yuckiness.) To be completely honest I have become increasingly frustrated with the lack of options in our area for Avery. We have tried to get her into music therapy for over a year with no luck. As far as I know we are still on a waiting list for an eval. I feel like music therapy would be super beneficial for her so that is why I keep trying. I can’t really place blame on the actual program though. They are literally the only program in a three-hour radius of where we live. I can’t even imagine the workload that they take on. Music therapy aside there really are not a lot of options out there for anything. We live in a very under served area. There are many days that I consider picking up and moving but that is a lot easier said than done. A lot of the time I feel like I am literally pulling teeth trying to make sure that Avery is receiving the full potential of the programs that are offered to her. I have definitely not made very many friends with my constant calling, demanding answers and what I like to call “being forward” But I have quickly learned that if you do not keep people in check you will get lost in the shuffle. With the negative thinking and head cold it ended up being a lousy drive over.

Do I enjoy being the person that no one wants to see come up on their caller id? Absolutely not. Do I love filling out 8+ page applications? Nope. What I do enjoy is seeing Avery actually petting and enjoying the horses yesterday. I love being able to get Avery things that she needs at school.  It is amazing to see her progress in life so far.

Big smiles and positive progress is why we have to keep going. As frustrating as all of this can be the only thing that matters in the end is our daughter. I need to learn how to shut out all of the noise and keep focused on her. It doesn’t matter what other people think of us. I know what we do to help Avery along in this life. I would never want to look back and regret not doing something for her because I didn’t want to be persistent.

To all parents out there fighting; keep going . I know it can be hard and the days can be long. But I have a feeling that the end result is worth it 🙂


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  • Reply Lisa @ The Meaning of Me March 16, 2017 at 10:50 pm

    Yes, yes, and yes. Fighting for our kids to get what they need is hard. But the payoff…oh how wonderful.
    Sorry about the “yuckiness” – I totally understand that. Hope all are healthy and sleeping well!

    • Reply Autumn March 17, 2017 at 7:44 am

      Thank you!! It is so hard but so worth it 🙂

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